Why are emotions and feelings stuffed down? Because they can be uncomfortable, scary, feel uncontrollable and they’re too painful to deal with.
You might have heard the expression: ‘the only way out is through.’ Trying to get around the your feelings and emotions will only work for so long. When these are stuffed down, they will eventually come out – likely in an unexpected and embarrassing way. It’s like a volcano. The pressure begins to rise and it gets harder and harder to hold the feelings down. Then one day, an innocent bystander, a child, partner, spouse or some lady at the grocery store does something, some small thing and you blow a gasket. And BOOM, rocks, steam, magma spewing everywhere and you won’t even know what hit you.
It’s understandable why people stuff down their emotions/feelings but it never comes out well. You might have been told as a child, don’t cry, don’t ask, don’t talk back, don’t question, keep it to yourself. As an adult, do you want that same message to go your kids, your loved ones, friends, family?
If unexamined or unhealed, these patterns can become ingrained and passed down through generations.
Here’s one step you can take: start to pay attention to how you feel – physically and emotionally. Sit comfortably in a chair with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes and breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Take about 5 minutes or so, then scan your body. What feels good, what feels a little achy. Then scan your emotions. Feel good? A bit moody? A little sad? Make some notes in your journal about what came up for you. This will help you increase your awareness of what you are feeling. This is important because you can’t fix something you are not aware of.
Elaine
Elaine L Stewart, Certified Health Coach
